Friday, February 17, 2006

Why I'll Never Be President Of The SBC

It's February and the Southern Baptist Convention is still four months away. But, we already know who's going to be the new president of the SBC in June.

It's Johnny Hunt. He's a big time Southern Baptist preacher and pastor from my home state of Georgia. He's been 'anointed' by the powers that be in the SBC as the next president.

I've often wondered how that process takes place. I know what the leadership would have us believe. Holy men gather in a holy huddle and pray a humble prayer and when the last amen is said they are all in agreement as to who the next president will be. In other words, God told them who.

But wouldn't you like to be a fly on the wall and hear all the secret conversation that goes on behind all this 'anointing' and 'choosing?' "Ok, we've narrowed it down to two names. We'll flip a coin and see who get's the nod." Or "We're going to pitch pennies at that mark on the floor, the closest to the mark gets to make the first nomination."

Well I know one thing for sure. I'll never be the President of the SBC.

Here are the Top 10 Reasons why this will never happen.

10. My paternal great-great-grandmother was a Primitive Baptist.

9. I asked Jimmy Draper why the LifeWay website is so SLOOOOOW.

8. I wondered out loud how much money Morris Chapman made.

7. I cut my CP giving to help a SBC Pastor who had no health insurance.

6. I wore a cowboy hat, jeans and boots to the 1998 SBC Convention.

5. As a seminary student, I took the Lord’s Supper in a UMC Church.

4. I was a Presbyterian for 9 months after ordination as a SBC deacon.

3. I buy Christian books from Amazon.com instead of Lifeway.com.

2. My sister is a deaconess in a CBF Church.

And the number reason why I will never be the President of the SBC is:

1. I once said that Dorothy Patterson reminded me of Minnie Pearl.

Is that enough or do you think I need to mention my favorite flower?

3 Comments:

Blogger Rod said...

Bring your lasso to the annual meeting this year and maybe we can slow the stampede.

If 20% of the gathering are tulip lovers and they join the the anti-Kingmakers who voted against Bro. Bobby, maybe Hunt will only breathe fire and leave the brimstone home at Woodstock.

2/17/2006 2:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're OK, Jim. I'd vote for you, but you would have to say that you wouldn't toss me out. ;-)

I don't want you tossed out either.

2/17/2006 9:39 PM  
Blogger Tim A said...

Jim,
Appreciate your words. I do not know why anyone would want to be the president of the convention anyway. Especially with all the politics involved in it.
I do think that no one should have a clue, before the convention meets, who will be president, or any other officer. It should be decided at the meeting.
Even "Small" church pastors should be included.

2/18/2006 9:11 AM  

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