Saturday, August 12, 2006

Wine Plot Uncovered

Wine Plot Uncovered

No one is talking and nobody will admit it, but the skinny is that a few Southern Baptists who grew up with a mouse in their hands are already working on ways to expose the alleged double standards of some of the top executives of the SBC and many of the high profile SBC pastors.

There is a new technology being tested by Walmart and other retailers called RFID (Radio Frequency IDentification). The concept is really simple. You label a product with a tag that emits an RFID and then keeping your inventory is a snap. The problem is that the technology is not yet widely available and it will probably be a few years before your local Walmart Supercenter will be fully RFID'ed.

But in the minds of a few the wait will be worth it. Imagine a bootleg scanner in the hands of a future Southern Baptist renegade blogger who wants to make a point. By simply walking up the sidewalk of the home of a leading SBC figure this seeking soul may be able to inventory every product in the pantry of the powerful leader. Or by staking out a grocery store where Mrs. Powerful Figure shops it is a simple task to simply sit by the door and scan her buggy as it passes by. Imagine the scandal of it all when the cupboard or the buggy's contents winds up on a blog site as evidence that Dr. So and So really does use products that contain Alcohol.

A word to the wise is prudent here. Pastor, if your wife has a rum cake recipe or any recipe that calls for cooking wine or cooking sherry then you better reform her ways or get prepared for the Great Wine War that is coming.

Since confession is good for the soul, I must confess that I found a bottle of Holland House red cooking wine in my cupboard today. Being the loyal Southern Baptist that I am, I determined to get rid of it as quickly as I could. Tonight I used it to baptize the chicken I was cooking. There was some left so I put it back in the cupboard until I can find another chicken.




3 Comments:

Blogger afd said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/14/2006 4:36 AM  
Blogger rick said...

As the old joke goes:

The Jews don't recognize Jesus as Messiah.
The Protestants don't recognize the pope as the head of the church.
And Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store.

Looks to me like the drive-through carryout is the best way avoid the Wally World RFID.

8/15/2006 3:44 AM  
Blogger Rod said...

I dare you to try that recipe at Providence's next carry-in supper. You may have some deacons start yoddeling!

8/22/2006 10:12 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home